Problems Welcome; Bring Solutions!

 A vice-president of a large corporation I worked at years ago had a sign on his door that read, "Problems welcome; Bring solutions!"  He was basically in charge of solving problems, but he wanted you to have carefully vet out the problem and offer possible solutions -- not just complain about it.

In that spirit, here's my solution to the "caravan" that's peacefully approaching our border and asking politely if they can come in (or storming the castle walls -- depending on which news channel your watch):

Step 1) Hold a special election with a simple, one-question ballot: "Do you believe that the individuals in the caravan should be allowed into the United States?"  Vote Yes or No.

Step 2) All those who voted "NO" will be given a bold red, white, and blue "I voted today" sticker. 

Step 3) Congratulations to all those who voted "YES"!  All those who voted "YES" will be visited by a U.S. Government Agency and their home(s) assessed.  That agency will determine how many rooms you have in your home that are not being occupied.  Obviously, you get to keep your bedroom and any bedrooms the rest of your family is using, but the rest of the rooms will be set up for your new friends that you voted to come to stay with you -- say, four friends per room. 

Step 4)  Churches will also be assessed and new friends dropped off for you to host (if you choose not to participate, you will lose your tax-exempt status).  TV networks, radio stations, newspapers, magazines, etc.  that editorialize about how unfair it is for keeping these folks out will also be receiving a few busloads. 

Step 5)  You will pay for shelter, clothing, food, and health.  You'll also be responsible for finding them work, and working with them to legally become U.S. Citizens.  For these service you will receive no tax write-offs, no aid, no anything.  Just a good feeling that you're making the U.S. and the world a better place.

Step 6) If one of your friends commits a crime, YOU are an accessory to that crime.  You may have to serve some jail time, but the good news is that it frees up a room in your home for more from the caravan.

Step 7)  Each time you successfully release one of your friends into the U.S. as legal U.S. Citizens, you will be assigned new friends until there just aren't anymore. 

- - -

So, there you have it.  My solution to the "caravan" problem. 


Ready to vote?

Carpe diem Life,
David Kuhn

P.S.  The vice-president I spoke of earlier was fired after everyone realized that he himself never offered any solutions of his own.  Sort of sounds like a lot of talking heads on TV these days.  Just sayin'.

We have not inherited the earth . . .

 Suzanne and I stepped back in time Saturday to Perry County, Indiana.

 The Shubael Little Pioneer Village is dedicated to the preservation of Perry County History through the collection of 3-Dimensional Artifacts, cabins, and documents. The site is being developed and maintained so that present and future generations may appreciate, understand, and learn from the past.

So true.

The village is located in the rolling hills of Southern Perry County, near the Ohio River, at 7590 East State Road 66, Cannelton, Indiana, 47520. The village is 1/4th mile north of Rocky Point.  Check out their website or Facebook page for special events.  Well worth the drive.

Carpe diem Life,
David Kuhn

Woke up alive today

 Credit:  http://thelistenersclub.timothyjuddviolin.com

Here's a quick "poem" I culled from bits and parts of other works that were swimming in my brain:

Woke up alive today

Damn fine way to start the day

Rinsed my dreams away

Cleansed away yesterday

Woke up alive today

Woke up alive today

Washed delusions from my eyes

On the lookout for blessings

Both overt and in disguise

Woke up alive today

Each moment a new event

There is no wealth, but life

A holy present

The path may be crooked

Wretched mysteries around each curve

It’s true that I may not have all I want

I’m just thankful . . .

I don’t get all that I deserve

Woke up alive today

Carpe diem Life,
David Kuhn

A Series of Unfortunate Events

Sometimes, you can tell a lot by how a story is going to progress and end by the opening line.  For example, stories that begin, “Once upon a time . . . “ usually have a fairy book ending.  On the other hand, stories that being, “We thought it would be a good idea to . . .” end, well, read on.

It was a gorgeous Autumn day, so we thought it would be a good idea to wash curtains and clean windows.  To knock the chill off the house we kicked up the heat a little.  That’s when the smoke alarm went off.  The perfume of burning plastic hit us.  We quickly shut down the heater and quickly assessed the situation.  After a thorough search, we found no flames or smoke.  We figured that it might just be the first time the heater was on for the season.  We hope.

Next, curtains.  Took them down and loaded the washing mashing.  Those of you who actually read this blog might remember that this is a NEW machine because of a fiasco early this year (spoiler alert, the machine performed perfectly — this time).

Windows.  These are those tilt-in, easy to clean replacement windows.  And they are tilt-in. And they are easy to clean.  And they will shatter if, while closing one, the one next to it tilts wide open and crashes against the wall.  The sound of a shattering glass explosion is unmistakable.  Suzanne rushed in to witness the carnage.  Thankfully, no injuries.

 So, while Suzanne went upstairs to find the paperwork on the replacement windows, I went to the closet to get a broom.  That’s when I walked past the downstairs bathroom and noticed the toilet overflowing — really overflowing.  I mean really, really overflowing.  Seems that the gallons and gallons of water exiting the washing machine was backing up and out the toilet.  TOWELS! (A problem that we’ve had multiple times through the years — usually on a holiday when family is in and someone is in the shower.)

Have you ever had to call a plumber on Sunday overtime?  I’m not going to say that it’s expensive, but when people try to tell you how expensive something is they use the metaphor, “As expensive as a plumber on Sundays.”

Anyway, Chuck — a very nice guy and seemed to really know his shit — pulled the toilet, brought in some heavy equipment and cleaned out the drain.  At least for now.  “You really need to get someone back to dig that pipe up and see what’s going on!” says Chuck and he drives off into the sunset to live happily ever after.

Suzanne finished the curtains at the laundry mat.  I finished washer a few more windows without incident and spent an extra amount of time cleaning the bathroom floor because, well, you know.
So, no.  This is not one of those, “Once upon a time . . .” stories.  At least not yet.  Window company is on the way out to take a look and the plumber has a ticket in and I need to set up an appointment to have some major work down to fix this crappy plumbing problem once and for all.

This blog started with, “It seemed like a good idea . . . “  In the future when I write about our home maintenance issues, I may use author Lemony Snicket’s line from A Series of Unfortunate Events:
“If you are interested in stories with happy endings, you would be better off reading some other book.”

So, how was your weekend?

Carpe diem Life,
David Kuhn

P.S.
I good exercise in Care Diem, ADPIE, Serenity-Courage-Wisdom . . .

ADPIE

Years ago I took an emergency responder course and am certified by the county and local fire department to be an asset in case of an emergency --  tornado, earthquake, flood, etc.  I suppose I just wanted to know that I was, in some small way, an asset to the community.  (No, a pat-on-the-back tool was not included in the kit.) 

Though I've never been activated into the field, events such as hurricane Michael remind me that I am at least somewhat prepared to help. 

There are a lot of acronyms in the emergency response and medical fields, including ADPIE. 

The process has 5 steps: assessment, diagnosis, planning, implementation, and evaluation. These steps are detailed phases with their own set of actions designed to streamline victim/patient care. As the process is always ongoing, there is no set amount of time for any step to begin or be completed.

It actually fits nicely into the Carpe diem Life acronym because it can be a pretty good tool for ANY problem you're facing. 

So, trying to tie together a few ideas I've written about lately, here's one way the whole process could flow:

Problem? 
Serenity to accept the things you cannot change.  )If you recognize this right off the bat it will save a lot of grief.)
Courage to change what you can.
Wisdom to know the difference. 

Next,

Choose to change.       
                        Assess the situation.
                        Diagnose the root causes of the problem
                        Plan Solution
Action List               
Resources
                        Implement
Persistent Action
                        Evaluate Progress
Evaluate and
Direction Change if needed and seek continually to
Improve
Enjoy the process because ultimately it's
My Responsibility and my

LIFE!

So, there you have it, the "Serenity, Courage, Wisdom, ADPIE, Carpe diem LIFE Problem Solving Flow Chart" (presented in the most convoluted way possible). 




Just a word of advice:  If you're standing in the middle of the road and see an on-coming truck about to run you over and you think to yourself, "I seem to have a problem!" don't stop and go through each step.  RUN LIKE HELL!

Just a few thoughts to chew on this week. 

Carpe diem Life,
David Kuhn

Vanitas

I came across an interesting word yesterday:  Vanitas. 

First, it reminded me of Sydney Harris.  Harris was a journalist for the Chicago Daily News and, later, the Chicago Sun-Times. He wrote 11 books and his weekday column, “Strictly Personal,” was syndicated in approximately 200 newspapers.  Every once in a while he'd write a column called "Things I Learned While Looking Up Other Things."   Just a purging of random facts he had discovered while researching other articles (and probably a fall-back when he had occasional writer's block.

Anyway, back to today's "has nothing to do with Carpe diem -- or does it?" blog.

Definition of Vanitas, (Latin: “vanity”) in art, a genre of still-life painting that flourished in the Netherlands in the early 17th century. A vanitas painting contains collections of objects symbolic of the inevitability of death and the transience and vanity of earthly achievements and pleasures; it exhorts the viewer to consider mortality and to repent.

The vanitas evolved from simple pictures of skulls and other symbols of death and transience.  Curiously to me, they were frequently painted on the reverse sides of portraits during the late Renaissance. 

Later, It had acquired an independent status and become its own popular genre that included certain standard elements:

Symbols of arts and sciences (books, maps, and musical instruments) Wealth and power (purses, jewelry, gold objects)
Earthly pleasures (goblets, pipes, and playing cards)
Death or transience (skulls, clocks, burning candles, soap bubbles, and flowers)
Sometimes, symbols of resurrection and eternal life (ears of corn or sprigs of ivy or laurel

 How cool is that?

And, a quick image search on the web-thing shows that the genre continues today.  

I'll leave you with this for the next week; I'm off to ponder the meaning of life and Vanitas.

Carpe diem Life,
David Kuhn

Fairy Rings

 They’ve been spotted — at least evidence of them.  Them?  Fairies, elves, pixies.  They’re real and they’ve been dancing and playing around our neighborhood.  Of course, I haven’t seen them in person as I don’t want to disturb them and risk getting caught up in their magic.

Here is the proof:

Top photo borrowed off the internet; bottom photo borrowed from Ann Taylor's Facebook page (who lives in the next neighborhood). 

These fairy rings, which scientist say occur naturally (but I know better), usually pop up in fields, lawns, or forests this time of wet year.  They live off decaying organic matter in the soil.
Disclaimer:  Many poisonous mushrooms can look very similar to edible ones. Don’t take a chance and eat one (Of course, consuming the “right ones” will increase your chance of seeing fairies, elves, pixies . . .  and god knows what else). 

Cool weather is finally going to arrive this week.  Take the time to get out and explore.  Perhaps you’ll discover your own fairy ring — just don’t get caught up in their magic.  Or, if you do, report back and share your story.

Carpe diem Life,
David Kuhn