Sunday, March 4, 2018

I Am . . .

I’ve been thinking a lot lately (about the past 30 years) about why I’m just a great list maker — but a lousy list doer.  I make my “To-Do” lists, I knock out one or two items, then fall into old inaction mode.  Perhaps it’s fear of criticism, fear of failure, or hell, even fear of success.  I don’t know.  But for some reason, all these To-Dos just hang out on paper and mock me. 

So, yesterday I decided to instead write an “I Am” list first.  Yes, I know that I need to cut the grass, but that’s just another chore I need “to-do.” However, if I do it because it’s under the heading of “I am a good steward of what I own,” then perhaps the task will be more personal and I’ll be more engaged.

In no particular order, here are a few of the “I am” categories I've come up with so far.  Note that this list does not include negatives such as lazy, stubborn, unfocused, etc.  I’m hoping that this exercise will cure some of those. 

I am:


guitarist (Even though I’ve only picked it up and started to teach myself.  More on that below)
creative
husband
father
Grandfather
sibling
cousin
writer
video producer
problem solver
outdoorsman
fisherman
canoeist
woodworker
curious
healthy
happy
alive
joyful
grateful
magician
cartoonist
comedian
Taoist
intentional
friend
grammarian
writer
poet
lyricist
good steward
employee
humanitarian
Buick man
chef
frugal
family historian
explorer
gardener
artist
teacher
student
euchre player
lantern builder
loving
compassionate

Admittedly, some of these are categories that many people — including myself — would judge me and say, "NO you’re not!”  For example, “You’re not a guitarist, you just picked it up!”  Or, “You’re not a writer, you don’t know proper syntax and you can’t spell!” Or . . .  well, you get the picture. 

I thought about that yesterday and here is what I wrote:

Am I “I am”
When "I am not" -- or at least people, including myself, judge as “Am not”?
Am I not always, to some degree, a certain degree of “Am”?
Aren’t we all, to some degree?  Why label, compare, judge ourselves against other “I am” sentient beings?
When we do, we don’t even begin.  Or we being and stop because we believe the label we give ourselves or we believe the label that others attach to us -- like a label on a food box -- that says, "This man/woman does not contain enough of a certain ingredient to be worthy of the title of _____________!"
I call bullshit.
It’s bold to say, “I am!” 
Today, I choose to be bold and see what happens. 


Oh, and just to tie all this into yesterday's post, listen to Harry Chapin's Flowers Are Red.

Carpe diem Life,
David Kuhn

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